(and other stories)
i intended to write about the delicious mushroom and farro pie that i made days ago, but
smitten kitchen beat me to it. it almost never happened, me making this pie. then it happened that i made it twice in two weeks.
what was supposed to happen was, i was to create a complete sri lankan dinner party spread for 6 of my partner's friends and their others, at our first big dinner party in our new house. what actually happened was that i totally chickened out before i even thought about that idea for too long, and opted to make something from a recipe instead. that says something about how spooked i was. aside from my family's recipes, which i follow with a mix of equal parts insecurity and distrust, i hardly ever use a recipe when cooking. don't get me wrong, i have nothing against recipes or cooking from them. in fact, i cherish published recipes in tv, book or magazine form like an addict. but even if inspired by what i've seen or read, i hardly turn to recipes to create a dish.
those recipes of my mother's and my aunt's are for my favourite sri lankan dishes that i know i can make. i know because i've made them alongside them, during steph-by-step tutorials. but my familiarity with the spices is weak and i don't know how to tweak them to get just the right flavour. and rather than fail, i run.
i ran to gourmet magazine's november issue, and the coverline promising "the ultimate vegetarian thanksgiving" received me like a warm, embrace of avoidance. here, in this fabulous mushroom pie, was the answer. a vegetarian entree that looked worthy of a dinner party, that required a recipe in my mind, since it involved dough, and the only thing that scares me more than cooking my family's recipes is baking.
but of course i had to make the thing once before serving to my guests, lest it not be as yummy as it looked. plus what if it was too hard? i had never made this recipe before. see? stressful to cook with recipes...