One night James made steamed eggplant and rice for dinner, and I couldn't get enough of it. I raved, gave thanks, asked for more, asked that he make it again. He knew what was coming, I'm sure. I asked him to write down the recipe so I could share it here. He hates when I do that (it wasn't the first time). He doesn't like following recipes and he certainly doesn't like me following his recipes. And I know why.
Because the same dish he made for dinner, once unconditionally loved and praised, was now poked, prodded, questioned and doubted.
Me: The ratio in your sauce looks... well, isn't the sesame oil going to overpower it?
James: This is the ratio from the time you liked it. You said this was the one.
Me: Oh. Good. But why do you add it last? Since you're already steaming the eggplant, shouldn't you add the sauce first so it cooks a little and the flavours come together?
James: No, the sauce doesn't need to cook.
Me: Then why add the sauce to the pan at all? All of the other ingredients are cooked, you could just toss the eggplant in it.
James: Because the eggplant makes the sauce thicker. Trust me.
Me: Mmmmkay.... So, why do you steam it sooo much/leave the garlic cloves whole/etc.
James: Because that's how I like it. I thought you said you liked this.
Me: No, I do! I do...
And I do. He was right about everything. I had him tweak what I was skeptical about but it was better his way: I saw the sauce thicken with my own eyes, you do need to add the eggplant first, steaming it a little too much is nice, uneven pieces actually add to the sauce, I even asked him to slice some garlic thinner, only to end up picking at the whole, steamed bulbs he'd set aside for himself (yeah, he loved that part especially). In the end--or the beginning, rather, he had a simple, great recipe, and I remembered that I knew that the first time I tried it.